Ruptured Review: The Living Dead Girl (La Morte Vivante)

Country of origin- France 

Year of release- 1982  

Directors- Jean Rollin
Stars- Marina Pierro, Françoise Blanchard, Mike Marshall
  

The film begins with the illegal dumping of chemical waste underneath an abandoned castle, which may sound like the plot line to gothic giant shark movie, but thankfully it isn’t. Once the guys dumping the waste have finished they decide to do a bit of casual crypt robbing, as you do. The men soon discover the perfectly preserved body of Catherine Valmont, who is played by the late great Françoise Blanchard. Suddenly, a strange earth tremor courses a spill of the recently dumped chemical waste on the other side of the crypt, which causes a toxic gas to wash over the body of Catherine. As Catherine begins to stir from her deathly slumber one of the grave robbers gets a bit too close and has his eyes gouged out by the long fingernails of the now very much alive Catherine. It isn’t long before Catherine begins to wonder the rooms and corridors of the castle that was once her home, driven with a desire for human blood.

Catherine is soon reunited however, with her lifelong friend Hélène, played by Marina Pierro. Hélène, desperate to help the friend she had thought she had lost, begins to bring unsuspecting locals to the castle for Catherine to feast upon. It soon becomes clear however that Catherine does not wish to exist in such a horrific manor, and as her victims begin to build up, so does her wish to return to the grave from which she came.

This is one of the many vampire films made by the late Jean Rollin, and it is actually one of his best. It takes what could have been a by the books sleazy vampire gore fest, and turns it into a darkly gothic story of friendship and existentialism, with a well-crafted erotic undertone. Yes, the film does feature plenty of strong gore, but it isn’t the entire point of the film, it is instead used to highlight the ever deaerating mental state of Catherine. This leads to the films oddly sickening, and extremely downbeat conclusion that is perfectly executed, along with much of the surprisingly good dialogue that also leads up to it.

The films only downside however is its tedious subplot about a holidaying couple who happen to take a picture of Catherine soon after her resurrection as she crosses the castle grounds. This ultimately leads to ham fisted scenes of Carina Barone trying to solve the mystery of her sighting of Catherine, all of which feel clunky, slow and out of place with the rest of the film. Putting aside the films one let down, this really is an overlooked gem of avant-garde gothic horror with a modern twist that has something to say, and is pretty damn well made. I highly recommend this one, and most of Jean Rollin’s other work for that matter. I give The Living Dead Girl (La Morte Vivante) 7.5/10.

                       

Ruptured Review: Microwave Massacre

Country of origin- USA 

Year of release- 1983  

Directors- Wayne Berwick
Stars- Jackie Vernon, Loren Schein, Al Troupe
 

You know a film is of stunning quality when the very first shot is bouncing tits, shortly followed by a view of the same woman’s ass as she walks down the street. This cleverly crafted series of shots really helps add tension and momentum to the overall story, it also gives me a chance to shamelessly add a picture of breasts to get traffic, in the same way the film added them to get ass’s on seats. 

The Microwave Massacre follows a hen pecked construction worker called Donald, played by the half pickled Jackie Vernon, who is fed up with the foul and bizarre culinary concoctions his wife May makes him eat. His wife makes every meal in a giant microwave that is probably the most expensive prop in the entire film. One night Donald returns home after drinking his sorrows away at the local bar to find that once again May has prepared something truly rancid, only this time Donald just can’t take it anymore. He snaps and batters his wife to death with an oddly penis shaped salt grinder. Later that night, realising what he has done Donald comes up with a plan to get rid of May’s corpse, he decides to cook it in the microwave that she loved so much and eat her piece by piece. However Donald’s cannibalistic desires soon develop into a lust for new, and younger victims, thus begins the microwave massacre.

Considering just how fucking terrible this film could have been, it comes as a pleasant surprise that this is oddly enjoyable. Right from the get go it is clear that this is by no means trying to be serious, instead it plays out rather like an extremely cheap shot-on-video comedic Troma knock off. The jokes are stunningly corny and judging by his background in stand-up comedy were in some part probably written by Jackie Vernon himself. Although the majority of the jokes are face palm worthy, some are in fact pretty damn funny, including a scene in which we see Donald spreading butter on one of his victims with a giant butter knife before encasing her in a giant piece of bread. This scene along with some others in the film seem to be at least a little inspired by a very Monty Python style of humour, and yet these scenes didn’t feel out of place, even alongside the trash acting and general grime.

Overall, if you’re wanting to be intellectually challenged by a thought provoking piece of neo-realistic cinema, don’t watch Microwave Massacre. However, if you want to see a man who looks like a toad chop up hookers while cracking one liners and eating microwaved human flesh this is the film for you. I am going to give it a 7/10, it does what it says on the tin, and it doesn’t linger.   

Get the film here             

                       

Ruptured Review: The Nail Gun Massacre

Country of origin- USA 

Year of release- 1985  

Directors- Bill Leslie, Terry Lofton
Stars- Rocky Patterson, Ron Queen, Beau Leland

What do you call a film with gangrape in the first 60 seconds? The Nail Gun Massacre. Yes that’s right folks, this film throws us straight into the deep end with a rather grotty gangrape scene that is presented with no backstory or context just to make completely sure your instantly cringing once you sit down to watch this bizarre low budget 80’s slasher.

Directly after the rape scene we see possibly the hairiest man ever to grace a backwoods cabin shouting at his wife about his dirty shirts. This pretty quickly leads to him having a rather penetrating encounter with a motorcycle helmeted madman who seems to have stolen Robert Ginty’s head gear from The Exterminator and Richard Harrison’s ninja suit from Ninja Terminator. After this we see the credits roll while we hear the strange and distorted laughter of the nail gun wielding killer. From there on in the film revolves around poorly portrayed cardboard characters being killed off in surprisingly quick succession in often hilarious ways by the wise cracking nail gunner, all while a hick sheriff and a cowboy doctor pretend to look for the killer, while really not giving a shit. The film eventually reaches its predicable climax after 85 minutes having only just explained the significance of the opening rape scene.

I went into this one wanting a cheap, sleazy bloodthirsty slasher film drenched in bad acting and pointless nail gun fodder, and by God did I get it. This film oozes low budget 80’s horror cheese, everything from the dialogue that sounds like it was written ten minutes before filming, to the overly loud synth music that pops up almost at random, this film has it. Now, don’t get me wrong, this film is rubbish, but it’s a very special type of rubbish that I find inexplicably enjoyable. It’s often hard to place why I like certain rubbish films and so passionately hate others, but in the case of The Nail Gun Massacre it is clear why I enjoyed it so much, the killer. This film manages to stand out from the gigantic throng of 80’s trash slashers by having a killer with both purpose and personality that is the instantly enjoyable to watch. If you enjoy slasher films that were made in some random patch of woodland on the budget of a packet of crisps then you will cream/soak your underwear for The Nail Gun Massacre. I cannot recommend it enough, that’s why I am going to give it 7.5/10.   

This film very recently got it's first UK region free Blu-Ray release from 88 Films which is well worth picking up.

 

     

Ruptured Review: Blood Reaper

Country of origin- USA 

Year of release- 2004  

Director- Lory-Michael Ringuette 
Stars- Brinke Stevens, Lory-Michael Ringuette, Bobby Macky

The film begins with an eight minute pre-credit sequence of a couple on some kind of fishing trip in a pretty remote area of woodland. The couple are individually stalked and killed by a gas masked maniac with a hunting knife. It was actually directly after this short scene that I realised that this was going to be a rather trying viewing experience, mainly because in just the space of eight minutes the film had established to me that it no discernible filmmaking talent and certainly no originality. But I digress.

After we see the couple slaughtered, the film skips to four years in the future, and we see a group of 30 year olds trying to be teenagers whilst planning a fishing and boozing trip to an area of isolated natural beauty. It just so happens that the area they are heading to has an urban legend of a bloodthirsty manic surrounding it (what a complete surprise, and total coincidence). Despite a number of warnings the group continue on and eventually reach their remote woodland cabins, but not until a slideshow of family photos of the cast members is shown for literally no reason. It goes without saying that this group of annoying idiots begins to be killed off one by one. It is a surprise however at just how little the rest of group care about the others, the general attitude towards missing people in this film is that not a solitary shit shall be given about their safety. Unfortunately, when the few remaining morons realise towards the end of the film that their being hunted, we are treated to some of the worst grief and worry related acting I have ever seen. I have seen inbred sparrows grieve more convincingly than the dumbass’s in this film. Thankfully it isn’t long before the burnt out corpse of this film is dragged still twitching into a predicable ending and eventually into a closing credit sequence, thus ending my torment.

If you look up the word generic in the Oxford English dictionary you will see the following definition “a characteristic of or relating to a class or group of things” you will also see a poster for this film. To say that this is the most generic slasher film I have ever seen is an understatement, and in some ways an insult to generic slashers. This film has nothing exciting or original to offer, literally noting. It’s so bad the film makers couldn’t even write stereotypes, instead we get treated to what I think is the actual “personalities” of the “actors” which is a pretty scaring experience to be perfectly honest. I honestly cannot recommend this to even the most hardened slasher fan, because with an almost complete lack of gore, an interesting killer or even slightly imaginative or fun kills even the most basic criteria for a slasher film are not fulfilled. I give Blood Reaper 1.1/10 yes, it really is that poor.         

Ruptured Review: World War Dead: Rise Of The Fallen

Country of origin- UK 

Year of release- 2014/15  

Directors- Freddie Hutten-Mills, Bart Ruspoli 
Stars- Philip Barantini, Kacey Barnfield, Robert Bladen

Oh dear me, this is going to be something. This is a found footage film that follows a group of annoying and incredibly stupid documentary filmmakers who travel France to make a film about some of the mysteries of the battle of the Somme. Already this plot is simply screaming originality and creativity. Once the group arrive at the site of one of the most important turning points in the battle, strange things begin to happen, as the camera man sees some unexplained figures in the distance that quickly vanish. Later on, while the crew are filming in ‘Devil’ wood they drag the chain bound skeleton of a WW1 South African solider out of a large pond. They find a strange amulet inside the chest cavity of the skeleton, and decide to take it while leaving the skeleton unburied. As the crew are leaving the woods and heading back to their van they are attacked by a horde of flesh hungry WW1 zombie soldiers, who seem to be from both sides of the conflict which at least shows some reconciliation on their part.

I would be lying if I said I was expecting anything other than pure shit when I went into this one. Before I get into the many problems with this pile of mess, I will say that some of the make-up effects on the zombies themselves were fairly well done, and some of the cinematography wasn’t too bad. So with the positives out of the way let’s get into the negatives. The first issue and the most noticeable is the characters, a collection of moronic scum bags that frankly don’t die quick enough. The worst of the bunch is the Director played by the talentless Ray Panthaki, who comes from such a brilliant background of work such as EastEnders, and Ali G Indahouse, it’s practically Shakespeare folks.

The next issue is pretty much a general pervasive complete lack of shits given on the part of everyone involved. Everything from the script which must have been written by a five year old, and then edited by a four year old, to the plodding predictable story felt like it was pieced together without a single emotion or identifiable essence of care.

But for me the worst thing about this film is its bad taste. Now I know the shouts of hypocrite will be bellowed from the roof tops once people hear me complain about bad taste considering I generally love it, but let me explain. This film is essentially exploiting the war dead of the most horrific and devastating battle in human history, and it treats it’s exploitation of this subject with about as much finesse as a sledgehammer to the balls. And it does this on the centenary of the beginning of WW1, that decision almost transcends exploitation and becomes arrogant ignorance. I wouldn’t even encourage you to steal this film, just let it die its inevitable bargain-bin death and be forgotten. This bucket of rat shit otherwise known as a film gets a 1.5/10 from me.  

Ruptured Review: Soldiers Of The Damned

Country of origin- UK 

Year of release- 2015  

Director- Mark Nuttall 

Stars- Gil Darnell, Miriam Cooke, Lucas Hansen

The film follows the very war-weary Major Fleischer and his small squad of battle hardened soldiers on their retreat from the Eastern Front of 1944. Fleischer and his men are eventually tasked with a secret mission to escort a female SS scientist into an ancient and mysterious Romanian forest behind the Soviet lines to retrieve some kind of powerful artefact that has been requested by order of Himmler himself. Once in the heart of the forest Fleischer realises that something is oh so very wrong, as his men begin to vanish, and insanity begins to creep into the minds of those around him.

I went into this one not expecting a great deal to be honest, so it came as some considerable surprise that this is actually a pretty damn solid film. Firstly, Nigel Horne the films writer has actually written a pretty damn decant plot and has managed to avoid writing the oh too familiar one dimensional characters into that plot. I found both the story line and the majority of the characters to be fairly engaging and actually well crafted, this is certainly something that we do not see all that often in modern low budget horror cinema. To be honest the characters in this film are the most interesting thing about it, very rarely did feel as though I was being beaten over the head with stenotypes, and that is very refreshing.

However the film is let down by its low budget, which is sadly an inescapable problem this type of independent filmmaking has, although not overly used the poor quality CGI that is used dose take the viewer out of the film and leave them feeling a little disconnected from what’s happening on screen. Thankfully though when the CGI is used is doesn’t linger, and this allows the plot to run quite smoothly. The only other issue I had with the film was some of the acting wasn’t particularly good at times, although for the most part was either good, or decent, which is another pleasant departure from the carp that usually gets flung at low budget cinema fans.

Overall this is good psychological horror thriller that has a surprisingly decent war element. It may have its rough edges but I can overlook some of them because of how constrained by budget the filmmakers were. I think that with a larger budget this could have been a very good film if the poor CGI was replaced with practical effects. I am going to give this one 6.5/10, it’s well worth checking out. 

Buy The Film Here

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Ruptured Review: American Guinea Pig: Bouquet Of Guts And Gore

 

Country of origin- USA 

Year of release- 2014  

Director- Stephen Biro 

Stars- Ashley Lynn Caputo, Caitlyn Dailey, Lilly Dickenson, Eight The Chosen One

 

Because this is still a very recent release I won’t be talking too much about its plot, or subtext, I will leave that for you to more thoroughly discover when you watch the film. Essentially the film revolves around three snuff filmmakers, who kidnap a mother and daughter and proceed to systematically, and ritualistically torture, dismember and mutilate them. To stop the women from making any noise the film makers inject them with a paralysis inducing drug, which means that the victims are awake through the whole gruesome process, but cannot cry out in pain. This is a particularly disturbing aspect of the film, as you find yourself as the viewer trying to comprehend the kind of agony these women are going through, yet they are unable to even scream.

This film is the start of a series of films in the American Guinea Pig series, which in more than name alone is a homage to the classic, and continuously infamous Japanese Guinea Pig series of the late 1980s and early 1990s. Bouquet of Guts And Gore is however a homage to one specific Guinea Pig film, and that is the masterpiece that is Flowers of Flesh And Blood (1985). This film holds numerous little homages to that classic, for example the idea that the victim would be drugged so as to be unable to scream is a key example, along with the very ritualistic dismemberment.

This film however does very effectively manage to craft its own little corner in cinema hell, without simply piggy backing on the original Japanese Guinea Pig series, and without being related in name alone. This is a commendable achievement on the part of the filmmakers. This brings me on to some the best features of the film, firstly the visual effects which is the combined work of Stephen Biro, Melanie Dean, David Hood, Marcus Koch (who is set to direct the next American Guinea Pig film), Shelby McIntyre and Chris Polidoro.

It goes without saying but all the effects in Bouquet of Guts And Gore are stunningly well done, extremely nasty and best of all, practical. This is very important as the film relies heavily upon it ability to shock with its gore. The second important feature of this film is the cinematography, which is done by the excellent Jim Van Bebber (The Manson Family, Deadbeat At Dawn). The film is shot on a grimy mix of 8mm and VHS, which gives it a distinctly grotty and unsettling feel that adds a tremendous amount to the overall atmosphere throughout the film. This atmosphere is also added to by some of the more subtle visual aesthetics, for instance the masks that the film makers wear in the film is a small but very important aspect that really does add a very creepy and almost inhuman feel to the characters.

 

 

Overall I think this is very well crafted and extremely unsettling film that pushes the envelope on gore and taste, and truly makes a solid attempted to shock its audience. I think the director/writer Stephen Biro should be very happy with what he and the other cast members manage to create here, and I thoroughly look forward to the rest of the American Guinea Pig series. This one gets 8/10 from me, check it out if you think have the stomach and tolerance for it.    

                                                        Buy the film here.